ugly-fied
At 11:18 PM on
Thursday, January 04, 2007
man time flies.
i sure bet i'll miss them people here at hilton.
just now while playing pinball on my laptop,
i suddenly realise what has been bothering me so much.
maybe the past couple of days.
or maybe only for the past couple of hours before realisation hit me.
i felt un-beautiful.
hahs.
as cheesy as it may sound.
i think of the girls in korea here.
though dressed in coats and jackets,
you can still see their jeans and heels.
thin legs with skinny fitted jeans to complement their long legs.
and heels to pair them up and make their legs look much more lean.
then i look at my outfit.
jeans.
and running shoes.
why i don't wear them boots that my mum told me to bring here cos after one whole day of standing in heels, i'ld prefer and choose with my eyes closed for comfortable shoes that i can walk properly and not limp.
enough about shoes.
hair.
nicely styled hair that look like they just stepped out of a salon.
pretty curls.
dyed hair.
highlights.
then i look at my reflection in the glass window of the subway,
hair tied back with the chopstick cos during work i have to bun my hair,
and my hair being tied up in the bun for 9 hours, the hair of mine naturally curl ugly-ly.
so what to do but pull it up in a bun to conceal the fact that i'm only doing it because my hair isn't straight enough to let it down as how i like it.
enough about hair.
clothes.
them girls have pretty clothes and though it's freezing assed right now when outside, they can still tolerate the cold and wear a nice tee, short jacket over it and occasionally have a long coat outside the ensemble.
and skirts.
them korean lasses sure do fight with the weather here.
they can tolerate the freezing cold with a black stocking/legging and a denim/tweed skirt over.
no more.
gees. i really 'pei4 fu2' them.
enough about clothes.
now about me.
i feel so out of place.
so odd.
so ugly.
so un-beautiful.
i don't know why i'm even typing this out.
every word i typed just ate away that part of me that's so boldly strong and self-confident.
i hate putting myself down.
i hate comparing myself to others.
i hate being critical of myself. in LOVE,
pr social butterfly pam