update on an outing that i never should have gone
At 12:10 AM on
Sunday, September 11, 2005
i shouldn't have gone for it in the first place.
so i can't blame anybody for that matter right?
don't wanna blog about the outing.
but it sure got me thinking about things.
is the appearance THAT important to guys on girls? is the outlook all that matters when a guy is around a girl? do guys really hang with a girl just because she's pretty.slim.cute. in other words: not me.
do they just care about the appearance? if that is so then i think i've been living in a lie all along.i always thought that when someone tell me: 'oh, guys all the same one. see girl pretty then jio' and i've always told myself that ain't true because i believe that there are guys out there who don't live by that line of principle. if this is true then most probably i'll just remain a single woman who grows old with her family.
apart from that about my future and back to my original topic, if we view people as to how beautiful they are based on their appearance, then aren't we wrong to just 'sentence' that person according to what we see and not what might have happened to them? they could have been very slim and gorgeous but things might have happened to them that caused them to change their appearance. isn't it true? how many times have we stopped ourselves when thinking: that girl has no figure! and think that: hey! maybe she has had some problems? see?she looks kinda down too.
how many times do we do that?seriously.
after what happened today.on the bus home, i was running through what happened and a few times i was on the verge of breaking down.but i told myself it ain't worth it to cry just because of remarks about me. but does he know that i am a human? and a girl for that matter? and that remarks made about me does hurt me as bad? seemingly he doesn't seem to care and i even doubt if he even knows that he's hurting people.or me for that matter.and what's worse? my girl said never mind if i don't like him cos as long as she loves him.
i was damn pissed and they probably felt it too.i could feel my mood change black.
i tried to calm myself down, i did manage,regretfully, to refrain from shouting into the face of his and told him to fcuk off. i swear..i was tempted to do so in the bloody face of his.
however, i didn't manage to hide succesfully my feelings and my mood that just happened to turn bad in an instant after several snide and rude remarks he made of me.
i swear.i felt like leaving them at that instant and just cab home and bawl my eyes out in the cab and hopefully it would be a nice cabby who would ask me what happened and comfort me with nice words saying that some guys are just INSENSITIVE and so damn MCP. so just heck care about them and don't let their words affect me.
but hell, i somehow didn't do it and ended up in the train all the way back home. i didn't talk much on the ride home and just passed it off to them as feeling kinda tired.
i reached home feeling bad as hell and the rest of family could see it.they asked me what happened and i just told them with tears in the eyes that i didn't enjoy myself and just headed to the room to get clothes and shower. i swore they got worried thus the incessant questions on what happened?someone bullied me?how come not happy?whole day go out not happy? didn't want to let them know what happened so i just kept the trap of mine shut and said i'll be fine after a shower.
so there it goes.
an update on an outing that i NEVER should have gone. in LOVE,
pr social butterfly pam